"Smelling flatulence is a blessing and you may live longer"

Well, I and others trapped in a crowded elevator would rather smell pleasant thoughts inducing roses than methane released by fellow humans.

Many people jump on the bandwagon and believe everything that promises a longer life. Just read and see the commercials on the idiot tube.

Almost everyday, somewhere, somebody comes up with a device, diet, spiritual, or even incomprehensible item or a  good way to live longer, peddled by some overt or well disguised charlatan. By and large the tsunami of  infomercial and advertisements manage to rake in a nice pile of money for the 'entrepreneur'.

The latest discovery claims smelling flatulence could make you help live longer. If it works, then more sniff to it. - Bring on the smell of rotten eggs mixed with the aroma of stale beer.

Myself and millions of others would rather smell fresh flowers or even the tempting smell of a grease burger. That is up to now.

Equipped with this new olfactory data promising a longer life, a chance to pay more taxes, hear about new discoveries to extend life, often for a price defined in dollars, one find it hard to remain indifferent.

There is a downside to our ability to smell, or not being able to smell.

According to recent research data of older adults, researchers have found a link between the inability to identify certain scents, like peppermint or fish and an increased risk of mortality over the next five years.

Known as "olfactory dysfunction," the loss of smell is an even stronger predictor of when a person will likely die than conditions such as heart failure, cancer or lung disease, according to researchers at the University of Chicago.

This is serious stuff and not exactly the inducer of that "feeling good" or the micro euphoria like when a small refund arrives from the Internal Revenue Service, or whatever.

One thing you can count on: You will see more people sniffing, discreetly if possible.

Perhaps you will see a beatific smile on the face snuggled next to you in the crowded subway car. At the same time most people exchanging looks that could kill, but unable to alleviate the rotten smell let loose by someone who obviously having problems smelling or is just plainly anti-social. 

Underheated Planet, Mini Ice Age In The Cards?

The Inconvenient Idea is explored by an article published in the Financial post, "Lawrence Solomon: Proof that a new ice age has already started is stronger than ever, and we couldn’t be less prepared", authored by Lawrence Solomon:
 
http://business.financialpost.com/fp-comment/lawrence-solomon-proof-that-a-new-ice-age-has-already-started-is-stronger-than-ever-and-we-couldnt-be-less-prepared

Read the article and reach your own conclusion. Myself for one, I am not inclined to believe the assumption put forward by the article. But, then!

After all, right now we are getting prepared to pay a carbon tax. A tax apparently designed to save  the planet from warming and the coming climate change.

However, on the remote chance that the mini ice age manifest itself, will there be a refund on the moneys we paid for the good cause of stopping the warming of the Earth?

Really! It Is Not For A Few Dollars More

                                                                                  
I must be a rascal. During the years gone by, I have resigned more than once from a job because I quite simply felt I deserved better financial compensation for my labours than what the employer had offered in a crisp new contract.--

And I promptly went out and started looking for another job that met my financial expectations. 

Many others have done the same thing and we did not hide the fact that money was a major factor influencing our decisions regarding employment matters.

Times have changed. Today we face a pandemic of self-sacrifice when it comes to financial expectations. Things are not done for the money, judging from the actively promoted illusions.

 Let me explain: Doctors’ dissatisfaction and their protests hardly ever mentions money. Yet, they do deserve to be paid better. But no, they claim they want to improve Medicare - and for this reason many of them move to the US.  

Provincial  other civil servants may strike here and there, not for more money. They just want to upgrade the services they provide.

Same with the teachers when they talk about strikes. Their earnest desire is to improve the quality of education. Hell, they don’t mention that they want money--They just focus on the children’s interests.

And how can one leave out our politicians ? They never make mention of money or the excellent benefit packages as the reasons they seek public office. No, all they want is to serve us, the compensation they would receive - is just incidental.

Except when they quietly vote themselves substantial raises.

Fire Department Story With Happy Ending

Someone sent me the following  story, and I am sharing it with you:

"One dark night outside a small town in Michigan, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

 

When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."

 

 But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.

 

Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.

 

From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby township volunteer fire department composed mainly of Finns over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.

 

Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside, the other firemen watched as the Finnish old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire fought it back on all sides. It was a performance and effort never seen before.

 

Within a short time, the Finnish old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.

 

The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

 

"Vell," said Eino Karpinen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat f***ing truck!"

You Have Your Degree - Now You Need A Job

There are many committed people that struggle financially and in other ways to obtain that much coveted degree. Preferably in something they really like to do.

Of course, in the final analysis they want to utilize the hard earned degree to earn a decent salary and pay their student and other loans.

Anyone interested in obtaining a degree and working for a decent or top salary in North America may consider the opportunities offered by various fields with the appropriate degree.

By and large Professional majors such as dentistry optometry and pharmacy show above average employment levels, with salaries approaching and in some cases exceeding $100,000

However, Humanities graduates reported far lower earnings.

Some say, these degrees are easier to come by and there are far too many people graduated from Humanities. True, society only needs a certain number of librarians and others to accommodate the need for their skills in a functioning society.

The inconvenient truth is, if you want to make money you will have to sweat and forget about the "easier" degrees.

There seem to be a prevailing, indeed growing belief among the general population, that most people they know in university are often struggling to acquire degrees in areas where the field is saturated and where there is little demand and pay.

On balance, anyone with sound mind would be suspicious of  anything that proclaims a guarantee when it comes to  degrees.

In my experience, two young people I know, graduated from engineering. Both stepped into good jobs. Some of their friends who took, sociology, women's studies, art, etc., are flipping hamburgers.

However, no one should be discouraged. Experienced oil patch tradesmen, with overtime, were making over $200.000 before the oil prices tumbled.- Other tradesman are doing quite well too.

Hold Your Nose, You Are Only Human - Not Bovine

Things are never boring in sunny California. Right now they are thinking of regulating cow farts.

O.K. the Progressives, whatever they mean by that, want to secede from the United States of America, simply because they don’t like the outcome of one election.

But that alone is not a healthy challenge for some. No! Now they want to bring under control cow flatulence. How will they do it?

No problem for the wise ones churning out the regulations and unenforceable rules; The Farmer must take extra steps to capture the methane gas produced when the cow belches or farts.

How will this imposing Earth saving system work? How, and who will be groomed to insure compliance? Will the inspection rely on instrument read outs only, or special humans with super olfactory senses will be recruited for this smelly but environmentally significant task?

And if they deliver the goods and the emissions from millions of cows will be commanded, what comes next?

There are close to seven billion homo sapiens emitting obnoxious gases at least 20 times a day.  Sure,  the majority of us are polite enough to pass wind in bathrooms, or in the privacy of our homes, or on empty sidewalks with no sensitive nostrils around.

But amongst us respectful citizens, there’s an unsavoury breed: the public farter.

No cow behaves like some of the two legged truly gutsy gas monsters. They’ll laugh at your horror as they assault your senses with their stink.

However, for now  at least in California, the cows are the target of sincere but misguided attempt in reducing the methane content.

When I mentioned this to someone, he held up the paper and pointed to two headlines, -- "Trump keeps jobs in America" and  "Liberals regulate cow farts in California".- No comment.

The Haircut ( From the mail box)

"One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.
       
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there were a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

 The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

 *And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it."*

 "As Ronald Reagan said:  *BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!*"


         

The Cream Of The Crop: Tax Greenhouse Emissions Resulting From Food Production

A group of apparently very bright and no doubt well-fed researchers in Oxford University, England, came up with the idea to help saving the planet from the predicted horrors of climate change.

The solution: Price food according to its climate impact. This  ingenious move could save half a million lives and one billion tonnes of greenhouse gas emissions.

Don't be surprised if the  appropriate Nobel prize is already dusted off to adorn these specimens of genius sharing the planet with the rest of us ordinary people, many who already having problems eating three decent meals a day.

According to this inspiring assumption, by taxing greenhouse gas emissions from food production could save more emissions than are currently generated by global aviation, and lead to half a million fewer deaths from chronic diseases, according to a new study published in Nature Climate Change.

Not surprisingly, there are sceptic, indeed nasty people out there that are not yarn-dyed with the researchers and their findings.

In fact, some are suggesting to 'follow the money'. Who exactly will be administering the expenditures of all this tax revenue, and who will be having their pockets lined by the same people? Sounds just like the kind of dirty dishonest scam that some people allegedly were mixed up and lined their pockets in the recent past.

Enough of this. Keep researching and remember, most of us still like to eat. Just like the able researches in the sanctuary of Oxford.

Trump won, so they are leaving the U.S.A.?

As a Canadian, removed from the excitement of the U.S. elections, I just learned that, "Lena Durham Cops Out on Pledge to Move to Canada"

Then, another headline pops up, perhaps sounding ominous if you are an American, "Amy Schumer Says Vow to Leave Country if Trump Won was a Joke".

Wow! I guess this comes as a relief to our American friends.

There are media articles with a list of other people who are determined to leave their country of birth because the outcome of the election, the country that gave them the opportunity to optimize their talent and to make a nice living for themselves.

Whether they stay or leave, that is their business and one should respect their decision.

The thing that bothers me is when people around me, young and old, are asking such embarrassing questions, right here in Canada ," Who is Lena Durham" or "Just who is Amy Schumer?"

On The Buses

                                                                
A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby.  

The baby wouldn't take it so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us." 

 Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey.  Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here." 

 A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid.  Make up your mind!  I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"

Tell The Truth And You Will Not Be Elected

Hardly a day goes by without someone saying something to the effect, that this or that politician is a liar, once elected did not do what He / She promised and is just another opportunist individual who would say anything just to get elected.

Thus many people get disenchanted with the political process because of the unfulfilled promises made by politicians.This is understandable.

Yet, this situation is mainly our fault. Yes, I am talking about the voter! The unpalatable truth is that those who aspiring to become elected representatives, simply would not be elected if they outline the truth. - The raw unvarnished truth.

We as humans, simply don't feel at ease with someone who tells us something we don't like to hear. Therefore thing will not change, unless we are able to face  reality.

London Gorilla goes Ape and escapes - For the sake of a gargantuan sip of Fruit Juice

                                                                    

A few days ago Kumbuka the freedom loving Gorilla escaped from his enclosure in the London Zoo.   He simply smashed his way out of his enclosure. After a while Kumbuka was captured by armed police without anyone getting hurt.

Actually his nemesis was a tranquilizer dart that allowed him to sleep off and dream of the 5 litres of  blackcurrant juice he drunk while on the lam.

According to people familiar with the mentation of Gorillas, he just went A.W.O.L.  to treat his taste buds with the Real Stuff.  That is Undiluted Fruit Juice, unlike the watered down variety he is being served, day after day.

One could bet a case of commercial orange juice against  a litre of blackcurrant juice, that  Kumbuka's choice of refreshment and the length he went to obtain the "nectar of his choice", could serve as material for an advertising campaign promoting some half decent fruit juice.

The evolving Internet and it's controlled content as a possible outcome

A recent report revealed that a number of countries already censoring online traffic. Repressive regimes are utilizing the advantage of the net’s ability to censor and stifle reform and debate.

They are worried because blogs and other forms of social networking sites, evidently transform passive consumers into active critics.

According to an internet expert,” Everyone is interested in the internet-especially repressive regimes." Small wonder, as any paranoid despot,(with cause) surrounded by computer geeks, can now spy on it’s “loyal” citizens, censor and even direct the outcome of debate.

The evolving trend of suppressing political information on the net is truly unfortunate because in many countries the net is or used to be the only uncensored outlet people turned for news they would never hear or read in their controlled media.

Women are smart, no need to force feed stupid and demeaning commercials

                                                 

It was a long and demanding day. He was happy to be at home with his girlfriend who just came home from work.

They were tired. Instead of going out for a burger or something else edible, they have decided on home made pasta and both got busy with the preparation. Finally, the steaming spaghetti covered with juicy spaghetti sauce was ready to eat. As usual, they sat on the chesterfield to eat and turned on the TV to watch a usually light-hearted comedy on TV.


After spooning a few forkful of juicy spaghetti, enjoying the flavour of pasta, covered with the tasty red coloured sauce and enjoying the simple comedy on TV, the inevitable loud commercial cut in.


On the screen you could see a happily screaming young woman sliding down on a water-slide. At the same time, the announcer charmingly outlined the advantage of a particular feminine hygiene product, proudly emphasizing that this product will prevent leaking.


The man's girlfriend just said, "Yeah, that's true". 

What the dining couple did not know that the advertiser probably was thinking of the WWII Allied Bomber Command's effective tactic, called saturation bombing. Where waves of bombers, within a short period of time saturated and softened the enemy's resolve by delivering loads of bombs in quick succession.


The advertiser of the feminine hygiene product within a period of  about 45 minutes, repeated the same commercial, at least 8 times, according to the girlfriend.


By the time the couple finished their spaghetti meal, the lady had had enough and was not appreciative of the force fed, and demeaning commercial directed at potential female customers.


According to her, it was not the ruined appetite for the spaghetti that made her upset. Essentially, she felt that this type of commercial present women as dumb and they need to be brain washed to be sold on a product that is known and used by many females.


I was told the story and only a female is in a position to criticize it.


Nevertheless, one is up to the ears with the avalanche of stupid commercials that treat people as we are already the "dumbed down" crowd  that can only be motivated to buy, by repetitive and extremely stupid efforts to sell a product.

Fading Actors Should Work On Their Declining Career, Instead Of Becoming Political Hacks At Election Time

                                                                                   
                                                                          

Why is that some movie stars and  fading "celebrities" suddenly start peddling the wonderful abilities of politicians of either side at election time?

Do they really believe that the average Joe or Jane really cares or is influenced by the televised opinion of a movie star? Often somebody whose nimbus is  already fading since that "Great Movie" they starred  when the first IPhone came out.

Why do they cling to the defective belief that being able to play make-believe make you intelligent or informed, and the unwashed masses dote on every word they utter?  Being able to play make-believe doesn't make you intelligent, or informed.

These activist actors should remember one thing: People are peculiar and in a situation where about 50 % of the electorate is committed to one or the other candidate, they will remember that this or that actor pushed the interests of the other side. The side they voted against.

The actor who was active on the other side, will be remembered at movie time. Many people will boycott their "works".---  And they wonder why people are ignoring them , their movies and products?

"If Trump thinks debate prep is for chumps, his advisers can’t save him from himself" (Washington Post)

                                                                               

 A perceptive article for those following the presidential election in the USA:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/will-trump-shift-gears-in-time-for-the-next-debate/2016/10/01/92ac526c-87e7-11e6-a3ef-f35afb41797f_story.html?hpid=hp_hp-top-table-main_sundaytake-1234pm%3Ahomepage%2Fstory#comments

The marrow of the article is that Mr. Trump, the Republican candidate, is unable to follow instructions passed on by his advisers, and if he continues to act and verbalize  on the spur of the moment he might lose the election.- Simple as that.

Many people find it hard to understand, that in a world beset by troubles, an election debate  between to hopefuls  can be sidetracked by a comment made by one of the candidates concerning the alleged treatment of a beauty contest participant by the Republican candidate, 30 years ago.

Never mind the fighting in the Middle East, the problems in the China Sea, the situation in the Ukraine, the US trade deficit. Then, the problems within the country, violence, race problems, etc.

No! as soon as the issue of the one time beauty contestant was mentioned, the debate started to look like if a Siamese cat was let loose during a fancy dog show. - All the attention, energy, potential information to be gained suddenly turned into something resembling  chaos, apparently benefiting the candidate who tabled the issue.

According to many people following the election this is not good enough. - A presidential candidate should not be easily distracted. And they should debate real issues.

Pre-Owned Proprietor Of A Pre-Owned And Pre-Paid....

I have just learned from an entertainer, blessed with gallows humor that our language seem to be fine-tuned to let us learn to cope with one the results of global free-trade; The general deterioration of our living standards and the slow but sure evaporation of the middle classes in the countries of the so - called First World.

This is why during the last few years, assumedly under the banner of “Commercial Correctness” the expression “used“, as applied to objects was replaced by the word “pre-owned”.

Come what may, it sounds just an iota more prosperous and the buyer is  more inclined to bite, since now he/she will be the proud owner ( providing the payments are kept up) of something that is more “pre-owned” rather than something “used.”

In this scenario one can visualize a gallant on cloud nine, motoring his “pre-owned” vehicle home from the City Hall with his “pre-owned “ ( divorcee) wife to the jointly acquired “pre- owned” house-trailer, equipped with “pre-owned” furniture from the local “ Pre-Owned Mart”.--- Such idyll --

And they say this is just the beginning? 

Doomsday Scenario A Day, Will Smooth Your Worries Away

                                                                           
Can't speak for others but it seems to me that Doomsday theories are the main staple of some of the educational and geographical channels on our TV.

I just got over the fear endured by the idea of the giant tsunami generated by part of some island sliding into the Atlantic ocean far-far away. - I started to feel good again, breeding normally, like on a bad date when I was young. Even started to criticize some taxes and learned to live with some awful commercials. Indeed I started to spray the over advertised Breeze to freshen things up around the TV.

Then, I dropped in to see a friend. His TV was on, and surprise! He was anxiously watching a "science" program describing the possibility of rays from a distant 'Death Star' wiping out all of our debts, hopes and doubts- together with our lives.

Since then, within a couple of weeks, I had the opportunity to find out from a Science show, what life on Earth will be without people, the future without oil. Accepting the possibility of snooping aliens lurking on deserted highways waiting to abduct perfect specimens of homo-sapiens to examine in spaceships with functional but well cooled interiors.

Still, I have learned to adjust to just about everything that may can happen to us on this planet of unlimited potential. Well, that's what we are told.

Everything started to click again, until on a sunny day with a goofy smile on my face, I was stretched out in a dentist chair, staring at the TV embedded in the ceiling. I just started to relax as the freezing started to work, anticipating a painless tooth extraction.

And suddenly, the screen on the tube started to show a preview from an upcoming TV series. On the screen, up to now placid wild animals started to organize with intellect for the purpose of attacking humans and even tasting them, accompanied by the flashing of HEALTHY teeth and disgusting smacking of lips. -

I have reached my breaking point and murmured to the dentist to PLEASE bring on the tools of the trade and extract the damn tooth. After everything I have seen, I am sure I could live in a world with no teeth, eating baby food.

 However, I could be wrong. A Super Storm, like the one playing on the tube could knock out the power. --Then what?

---

Options:

He Is Wise In The Ways Of Marriage

                                                      
                                                                          (Someone sent this to me )

Comleted or Finished?  No dictionary has ever been able to define satisfactorily the difference between "complete" and "finished." 

 

 However, during a recent linguistic conference, held in London , England , and attended by some of the best linguists in the world. Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese linguist, was the presenter when he was asked to make that very distinction.  

 

The question put to him by a colleague in the erudite audience was this: “Some say there is no difference between ‘complete’ and ‘finished.’  Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand.”

 

Mr. Balgobin’s response: “When you marry the right woman, you are ‘complete.’  If you marry the wrong woman, you are ‘finished.’  And, if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ‘completely finished.”

 

His answer received a five minute standing ovation.

Really! This is the best city to live in North America?

                                                                            


Almost on a regular basis, we are informed by the media that this  or that city is the best place to live in Canada or the U.S.

The criteria for selecting the fortunate city is complex but apparently accepted by the public. Who cares? The fortunes of one or another city are brightened, at least for a while.

However, some people evaluate a city's livable potential by what they see on popular programs on television.

Here is the rendition of a "Down to Earth" person who is a regular viewer of a well-known "Soap Opera".

 His favorite city is the central place of the story. Briefly, this is what he told me. The city has sky -scrappers like any large city has traffic jams and everything else.

Ah, but now comes the quality of life in the city. To start with , crime must be practically non-existent. Police headquarters is a model of peace and tranquility. There is no hurry, and peace and quiet is the overriding impression inside the building.

The Chief of Police is a pleasant person. His son, without much ado became a detective and reports to daddy Chief. Crime must be very - very low in this desirable city.

The Chief and his top detective son is almost always tied up investigating the sneaky, often illegal doings of two icons of American industry and their family members. While the youngsters don't seem to be attending places of higher learning, they sure as hell involved in the running of multi billion dollar companies. Practically everyone of these  people served time for various crimes, sometime for murder. Still, the good life in the city is rolling on. Every two month or so,  a wedding is thrown in with corny and cruelly long home made wedding vows by the couples.

You never see poor people, run down neighborhoods and food banks. Working conditions for the police must be the envy of other city's on the continent. The chief's detective son is often
seen home during the day untangling complex matters involving his wife and her connections.

One could go on describing the marvels of this urban center as shown on this vehicle of cultural enrichment, commonly called television.

However, common  sense cautions me not to give away more or there may be a stampede for this city of peace, calm and interrelated plutocracy blessed with unlimited opportunity in their police department blessed with splendid working conditions.