High probability of not being understood!

 

 

 As the story goes......                                                   

I called an old classmate who went on to M.I.T., and asked how he was doing. 

He replied that at that moment, he was working on "aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel, under a constrained environment."

I was extremely impressed.

However, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

About Women Over 50

                                                            

                                                                 

60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)  “As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night & ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She goes and does something, she wants to do, & it's usually more interesting. Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest.. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’ Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!” Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!

Bill Gates Reportedly Compared The Computer Industry To The Car Industry

"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.

2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4.... Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5.... Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6...... The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7...... The airbag system would ask,"Are you sure?"before deploying.

8......... Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9........ Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.......... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer service" in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!

There you go! This came in the mail. Enjoy! 😁

VW And The Company's Weather Altering Cannons In Action

Apparently in the spirit of offering help, the auto manufacturer tried to utilize weather altering technology in sunny Mexico.

Actually VW used special cannons to prevent hailstorms.

However, as the saying goes, "every good deed must be punished", or something like that: The locals sued because unhappy farmers say it caused drought.

Apparently the luckless company installed something called hail cannons, which aimed to disrupt the hail and actually prevent it from ever forming in the sky in the first place.

The cannons fire shockwaves into the atmosphere to prevent the formation of ice stones that had been damaging finished vehicles parked outside its production facility.

According, to a group of local farmers was not only did VW stop any hail falling, but they stopped any rainfall happening in the area as well, which particularly affected the farmers during what was supposed to be Mexico's rainy season.

And that is a No-No if you are farming.

The lawsuit is recent and has not been tested yet and at the moment they don't know if other factors causing or contributing to the untenable situation.

VW is concerned as this plant is the largest outside Germany.  The company wants to protect the cars outside the plant from any hail damage and reduce its costs with that. But it also needs to keep the local community happy.--- And that's will not be easy.











                                                                 

Just Who Is A "Celebrity" ?

                                                        

Hardly a day goes by without hearing that this or that "Celebrity" uttered a storm of profanities sprinkled by the generous use of the "F" word.

The problem is that many claim that they never heard of
the "Celebrity" that stand out in shouting profanities, more often at someone holding political views different from that of the "Celebrity".

Now, if a well established "Celebrity" calls a politician
a Fascist, and tells him via the media to "Go and 'F' himself, they can afford a negative fallout. After all they already have made their fortune.

However, the list of practically little known "Celebrities"
saying vile profanities is growing.

The question is, do they believe that somehow now that
the public is aware of their questionable vocabulary, will they storm the venues of entertainment to spend money to enjoy the talents of such "Celebrities"?

I do not know. What do you think?

Eleven Uncool Things In Life

                                                           


 The following was sent to me and not necessarily reflects my views. Further, I can not assure anyone that any or all of is true.

As the story goes, Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about  eleven (11) things they did not and will not learn in school.

Apparently He talked about how feel-good, politically correct teachings  created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and  how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

 Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

 Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem.

The world will expect you to accomplish something
BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
 
Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school.

You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.

Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping:  They called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault,
so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now.

They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were:  So before you save the rain forest  from the parasites of your parent's generation,  try delousing the closet in your own room..

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers,  but life HAS NOT.

In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer.

This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters.

You don't get summers off and very few employers
are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. 

In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds.  
Chances are you'll end up working for one..

If you can read this ... Thank a Teacher.

If you can read this in English... Thank a Soldier!

And for life and everything else you have... Thank God!!


 
    

 

 

No, The Aliens are not landing in Saucers loaded with goodies, but Cannabis day is coming to Canada.

First, yours truly is not for, or against the legalization of Cannabis. Quite simply, one just does not know enough about  the subject to proffer an unsolicited opinion.

However, judging from the excitement generated by the media the interest is extraordinary. After all, The Toronto Maple Leafs are floundering and the price of gasoline is rising, but that's only par for the course. - Pot is the real stuff that wake up sleepy consumers of news and gossip from the periodic coma they endure.

The Ontario government now has administrative officials from about a dozen departments developing the province’s marijuana strategy, examining health, road safety, youth and justice issues as well as the fiscal implications.

And why would they not be excited over this seemingly manna from heaven for rendering money to spend no doubt for the benefit of the common people?  Or something like that.

It is an industry that an official report estimates could be worth $22.6 billion annually, eclipsing the combined sales of beer, wine, and spirits.

So far so good. Everything is honkey - dorey. And of course we all hope that looking back from the distance of a decade or two, the prognosis will justify the legal introduction of pot.

After all, according to Cannabis enthusiasts, this is the
wonder drug of the future that will cure many of our
problems.  -  Big Pharma watch out!  Just in case I will keep
my aspirins.